About

So I’m a twenty-something, fairly intelligent, female, with a loving family and very supportive friends. But at various times through my life, I’ve gone through periods of wanting to kill myself and things got dangerously close this December. Things just started to get too much for me, I was trying to handle it alone, and I’m not entirely sure how I got through it.

I never want to get that close again. It terrifies me that it got that bad in the first place. And just to make clear, I’ve not had to deal with anything out of the ordinary, and I actually feel bad about feeling bad when I think about how insignificant my problems are compared to some of the things faced by other people. It’s just that I was struggling to handle the number of worries that had built up, and when faced with that amount of “urgh”, every little thing was making it even more difficult to cope.

Although right at this moment, I’m doing ok, I wanted to start a project to help me feel more positive and to help me feel connected to people even when I’m feeling isolated. Though, of course, there is no guarantee anyone will ever read this, it’s still out there. So the focus of this blog is to come up with 365 reasons why I’m going to keep going, ranging from the meaningful to downright childish and silly. Ideally, this would work out as one a day, but as with all New Year’s resolutions, I’m pretty sure I’d be able to keep that up for maybe a week then drop off. Therefore, the plan is to post as regularly as I can and make sure I keep track of my numbers, and if it adds up to 365 by 23:59 31/12/14, I’ll consider it mission successful beyond belief.

This blog is mainly a way for me to create something positive this year that’ll hopefully help me keep optimistic, or at least keep going. I’m purposefully keeping it fairly anonymous as it’s easier to write honestly when I’m not thinking about what my friends’ or family’s reactions would be to this. These are the reasons I’m finding for staying alive this year, and hopefully by the end of it, I won’t need to write any more.

As a way of making this more accessible, and also to acknowledge that if I get frequent readers that might worry (due to the starting reason for this blog) if I stopped writing for a long time, I’m putting a link to my ask.fm account here. It’s rarely used apart from when I’m bored, so I’m opening it up to anonymous questions about anything people are curious about. You can find me here: http://ask.fm/NatTheHobbit